AUTHENTIC AND UNCHANGING...

It's the wee hours of the morning, and I'm awake again. This has been a trend for about three months. Even with Ambien, I'm not even close to catching the much needed Zzz's my body and mind are craving. Alas, I'm here, writing what's racing through my heart and mind.

Yesterday, I went to crosspoint.tv for the 11:45 service. Little did I know what God had in store for me. I was there a bit early and arrived during the prior service. I had resolved to just wait in the great cafe or one of the wonderful comfy chairs outside and just pray and prepare my heart for what God was going to say to me through worship and through Blake as He spoke through him. The longer I sat there the more I felt I was suppose to go in the service. I hate going in late to places. Okay if you know me, you know I'm practically late for almost everything. Just know, internally I'm beating myself up for it, and I despise being late. It's something I'm working on. Hence that I was SO early for this service that I was early enough to arrive during the previous service! Hop off the rabbit trail... As I felt like I was suppose to go into the service, I realize Blake had already begun speaking. I felt like God was telling me that there was something that was going to be said that morning that I was going to need to hear more than once. So I knew I needed to go in. I thought it'd be awkward to walk in while he was speaking, but eh, it's crosspoint.tv, and they're pretty laid back. At that moment, I think... I've seen kids doing cart wheels during Pete's messages before, surely I can walk in a grab a seat. So I did.. in the very back of the auditorium. I don't have the guts to walk in front of what seemed to be a thousand people to find a ton of empty seats up front.

Moses was our Rewind Character of the week. You can hear the entire message here. Something he had said in his teaching that morning was "God takes your mess and makes it your message." I had previously sat down with Blake and he'd briefly shared his mess, and I knew that God used it as his message. What I heard in the message intertwined with Moses was a message of grace, love, and forgiveness. It was more than the blood on the doorpost as we discussed Passover. And it was great watching him reach for the top of that doorpost! he he!

See, he told the rest of his story during the service that morning. He was as authentic as it gets. In the midst of his authenticity, he gave me a glimpse of hope. See, he spoke of how a man without judgment received him in love, and restored him to grace. I'm not talking about Jesus. I'm talking about his father-in-law. He spoke of his daughter who, while he wept in forgiveness, confirms him in love. A wife who continues to love and affirm him. I heard hope. See, it wasn't Jesus who loved Blake in his mess. It was a man. It was a daughter. It was a wife. It was here. It was now. It was Jesus through each of them... in an authentic way. In a mess, people at their best.

It was hope for me.

I looked in my Bible to something I had written a while back. Someone had asked me a question... What do you do when you're down?

I've been asking myself that for the past couple of months... The world seems to be crashing down all around my shoulders and the cares and concerns burden me so heavily that I don't think I can lift my head to pray...

I move past what I THINK.. and I rely upon what I KNOW.

God is unchanging. I lift my head anyway, and continue to take my cares and concerns to Him. I praise His name for the wonderful this He is doing. I praise Him and thank Him for His faithfulness. He alone is my Tower and Refuge.

I climb into that Tower and look to the Hope.

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